Set Aside the Ego
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking, and envying each other. Galatians 5:22-25
A few weeks ago, I had a disagreement with someone. I was correct in my response to this individual. Not because I decided I was right, but I was following policy. They wanted me to do something anyway because for whatever reason they thought they were not subject to the rules. They whined and complained to everyone they could get to listen. They also got someone else to ask the same thing to see if I would acquiesce to them. Once I found that out, I wanted to do the same tell everyone about them, make a complaint take it up the managerial ladder but when I consulted God, I got a different directive. I was told to exercise forbearance.
Choosing to not engage further was exceedingly difficult. It lodged in my brain and replayed reawakening my anger every time the loop came around. I was right, I knew I was right, and I could point to the policy, but I did not pursue. In the end what would it accomplish? Me proving I was right? (Oh boy that was exactly what I wanted). Strengthening my testimony as a Christian? What it would have accomplished is driving a wedge between me and the other person and those they had shared the incident with. I enforced the policy and said no more.
When I first looked at forbearance, I thought it was just another word for patience. However, the two are very different. Patience is uncomplaining or being resigned to discomfort or delay. Resilience in adversity. We are all familiar with patience and that it is an uncomfortable state.
However, forbearance is different. It has nothing to do with waiting or accepting delays. Forbearance is not acting when you have a right to despite other’s failures. To extend grace and forgiveness even when they have wronged us. It is transformative of Jesus’ love within us to others. God through Jesus has chosen to exercise forbearance for each of us. We have wronged God many times through our sins. Rather than deliver judgement against us, he has chosen to be longsuffering and extend every opportunity for us to come to repentance.
The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2Peter 3:9 KJV
Forbearance is like the other fruits we have looked at so far, it is a choice. It is putting away the ego and extending undeserved grace.
I admit I found it hard to just stop and let this go. I wanted to fire off emails and go to everyone’s office and tell it all. I choose not to. I won’t tell you that once I made up my mind, I was free of the desire to get back my own. Rather the opposite. I waited for them to apologize for their behavior. I just knew that my reward for doing what God told me was that I would be exonerated. They would be moved to admit their wrong and apologize.
They haven’t and over the last couple of weeks, I have accepted that. Forbearance isn’t something that you are going to receive a fuzzy feel about.
Following Jesus and choosing to do what is right is not about feelings or stroked egos. It is about being humble as Christ was during his ministry. He had not committed a crime or hurt anyone, but he was still crucified as a criminal. He had every right to defend himself, but he chose not to. In doing so his innocent blood was shed to cover our sins and offer salvation. Through his sacrifice the path to God was paved.
Put aside your ego and make forbearance a habit. It is not an easy act, but it is what you and I are called to do as genuine Christians. Choosing to live and walk in the spirit means that the fruits of the spirit are our guides for how we face challenges and interpersonal relationships with others.
Typist for Jesus
Mustard Seeds, Modern Parables 